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You'd think by now I would at least have an idea of what I want to do. For the most part, I've always wanted to write. I love to write. I love creating stories that are only for myself to read. My only problem is that I get so fickle that I end up not writing at all. It doesn't make sense. And what makes me an even more of an idiot writer is that I 'write' the entire thing in my head and the next day I forget about it. Done. Zip. Nothing. Which leads to the part where I just lack self-discipline to sit down and force everything out. Oh-kay, not force but maybe coax the fu- I mean, good stuff out?
Only, my almost non-existent self-discipline doesn't stop there. It has even taken over the part on what I want to major in for the next four years of my life after college. Not to mention that I'm perpetually frightened at the thought of having to do research work for a Psychology Ph.D which may I add is really, REALLY cool once you stop thinking about all the hard work that goes with wanting to get that bleeping Ph.D but that's just me, I guess. I mean, who am I kidding right? Me? And a Psychology degree? We're like separate worlds apart if you ask me!
I never really thought of myself as a Science'y person anyway. And being totally rubbish at Math is just the icing on the cake, though Math isn't exactly related to Science... not entirely anyway. The only thing about Psychology that fascinates me so much is that I actually like listening to people complain about their fucked lives and tell them what to do (or what not to do for that matter) about it. No offense on that since I'm pretty fucked myself, only I don't have anyone to talk about it to besides the Big Guy but that's another thing we'll delve into another time. Here's the thing: I honestly don't mind listening when people pour their hearts out to me. And I happen to be very good at being a Keeper, if you know what I mean. I don't even ask.
(cough)
WHY CAN'T I JUST MAJOR IN CREATIVE FUCKING WRITING AND BLOODY BE A JOURNALIST WHILE I WRITE MY NOVEL AND/OR SCREENPLAY?
Because it's impossible. And selfish.
So says a few relatives of mine. To add to that, a few relatives which I really hate. Not just because they're the very ones who said that I'm always looked at as being arrogant but also because they're the ones who think that my short hair will only lead me to looking like a boy which so annoyingly did happen eventually. Not that I'm going to let them know on that. But which part of wanting to do something I love is selfish? I love Psychology, don't get me wrong but I love writing more. And I suppose that's what made it so difficult. Choosing a university (I'm thinking UCL or King's because it seems that they offer pretty good Psych programs, but they're both so difficult to get into, I keep getting the jitters), deciding if I want to go to graduate school if I manage to snag a great honours degree... Oh, you know, the whole shindig.
Only, my almost non-existent self-discipline doesn't stop there. It has even taken over the part on what I want to major in for the next four years of my life after college. Not to mention that I'm perpetually frightened at the thought of having to do research work for a Psychology Ph.D which may I add is really, REALLY cool once you stop thinking about all the hard work that goes with wanting to get that bleeping Ph.D but that's just me, I guess. I mean, who am I kidding right? Me? And a Psychology degree? We're like separate worlds apart if you ask me!
I never really thought of myself as a Science'y person anyway. And being totally rubbish at Math is just the icing on the cake, though Math isn't exactly related to Science... not entirely anyway. The only thing about Psychology that fascinates me so much is that I actually like listening to people complain about their fucked lives and tell them what to do (or what not to do for that matter) about it. No offense on that since I'm pretty fucked myself, only I don't have anyone to talk about it to besides the Big Guy but that's another thing we'll delve into another time. Here's the thing: I honestly don't mind listening when people pour their hearts out to me. And I happen to be very good at being a Keeper, if you know what I mean. I don't even ask.
(cough)
WHY CAN'T I JUST MAJOR IN CREATIVE FUCKING WRITING AND BLOODY BE A JOURNALIST WHILE I WRITE MY NOVEL AND/OR SCREENPLAY?
Because it's impossible. And selfish.
So says a few relatives of mine. To add to that, a few relatives which I really hate. Not just because they're the very ones who said that I'm always looked at as being arrogant but also because they're the ones who think that my short hair will only lead me to looking like a boy which so annoyingly did happen eventually. Not that I'm going to let them know on that. But which part of wanting to do something I love is selfish? I love Psychology, don't get me wrong but I love writing more. And I suppose that's what made it so difficult. Choosing a university (I'm thinking UCL or King's because it seems that they offer pretty good Psych programs, but they're both so difficult to get into, I keep getting the jitters), deciding if I want to go to graduate school if I manage to snag a great honours degree... Oh, you know, the whole shindig.
Current Mood: 
apathetic
apatheticCurrent Music: My mother talking on the phone
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